not holding back

A couple weeks ago, Keli wrote on Facebook that if we all talked about our problems, we could help each other out. So I'm not holding back tonight.....maybe.

I'm starting work again tomorrow after 9 years of being able to stay at home with my kids. I'm not going back because I "want" to, it's because we "need" it. It's a job that is close by (within 2 miles) and my employer is (I can already tell) the BEST! He understands that I have a family at home. If you want an insight check out his website here. I am going to be running his office, shipping, ordering, managing the books, etc. I'm excited with what he wants to do and that he wants my help in getting there. With Jacob's schedule this semester it makes him at home all but a couple of hours each day. My dear and close friend is helping out so we can make this happen. I really am happy that we have an answer to our prayers and have been blessed. But in the same way...

I'm terrified. The mother instinct kicks in and I don't want to leave my kids. I'm 30 years old and I'm finally realizing what is so important in my life. I have taken for granted that I have been able to stay at home and be with my kids. I have enjoyed helping out in the girls' classrooms and being able to work with their teachers. I've done preschool at home and the Cruz has learned so many things already. I know that I will still be a great mom and that I'm strong and independent but I'm still so scared.