OCD?????

Since I was little, I have had one thing that I am OCD on. I mean really OCD. Not little things on how I like stuff but a real thing that "thing" that bugs me so bad if I can't do it my way. Jake has mentioned it before and I described it a little in the past but last night he was persistent on finding out why I did this. I kept it hidden for several years in the first part of my marriage. Then when he mentioned it, I just simply avoided the situation and had Jake take care of it so it wasn't on my mind. It's only one thing, well two things that have to be right concerning this one thing I guess. I'm not a wierdo or strange and I really don't know why I do it.



Anyway Jake kept asking and asking last night why. I refused to tell him because then he would have leverage and make fun of my "ways".

I think it's time to let it go. I'm tired of this situation. Jake, here is your answers. I'm am ditching my OCD.

I hate turning off light switches.

This is one reason Jake has all the light switch controls on his side of the bed. So I don't have to do it at all.

My explanation:

I have been terrified of fires since I was little. I was often told turning a light switch on and off would cause a fire. So I came up with this solution. I would turn the light switch off. (First OCD) It would have to feel right. The click, the way it went down, and by no way on earth could it just be half off. Jake tortured me with this last night. (Second OCD) I would hold the light switch down (sometimes tap it, later on I would just still touch it so it wasn't obvious) and count to my "special number". This number was the number of people in my family. So as of right now it WAS (notice the past tense) six. This was done to sort of "protect" them. Don't ask me where I came up with this odd way of thinking. Then if everything felt right I was done. If not and something had gone wrong or didn't feel right, I would flip the light on, and then off again, starting the process over.

Jake tried to convince me it was an OCD, Obsessive Compulsive Disorder. I'm convinced it's an OCO, Obsessive Compulsive Order. That didn't work on him though.

Now, everyone knows how different I am. : ) Although, I'm sure everybody has just there one little thing. Even if it is so little that it is unnoticeable and unrecognizable. This I guess was my safety blankie. Like none of us want to, I have grown up and don't need it anymore.